My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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