Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
