I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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