Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
