just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I supernannyed him into submission
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
