I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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