: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
