perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
