508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
