There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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