It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
