no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize