How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
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I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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