marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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