they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The air taste purple.
Randomize
