All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
