i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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