dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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