When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
