the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
