That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
