There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
