Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
