i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
