why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
