how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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