It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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