i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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