Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
