Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need water and some morals
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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