I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
