i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
