There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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