For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
