is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
