since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
