It's just like the Real World with babies
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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