apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
