Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
