It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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