I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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