Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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