NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
