oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
