Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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