oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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