hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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