She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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