Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
