She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
