I want to walk on stilts...naked
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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