Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Shame - the story of my life.
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