if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
