Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
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In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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