Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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