I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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