You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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