Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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