so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize