Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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