My pussy is not your playground.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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